After 16 years Thomas and I are still so in love. I’m not bragging here. We both put a lot of time and attention into each other. As we become parents we promised each other to we would remain each other’s number one. In my book Thomas will always come first and our beautiful boys come second.
I’ve thought about three things that keep our relationship strong and keep us feeling in love. I’m excited to share them with you.
I now everyone has this and it seems silly but communicate can make or break a relationship. For Thomas and I we need to communicate about everything. From how we discipline the boys, to what to make for dinner, to booking our next vacation. Once, we had 40 second conversation about keeping some lamps on or having a entrance light on. Being able to communicate about something as meaningless as lighting makes it so you can have the deep more difficult conversations.
2. Kiss like you mean it.
Yet another evening at the McMinn house, Thomas came up to me in the kitchen and put his arms around my waste. I was engaged in my Instagram feed. I knew what the man wanted by I was too busy watching a story about a home renovation. Thomas moved sideways and kissed me on the cheek and at the moment I realized I had a decision I could either keep watching someone else fix up their home, or I could make out with my husband. I chose the later. Because I made the conscience decision to put my phone down and kiss my sweetie I was far more engaged. I was paying attention to the way I was kissing him and the way he was responding. Now I’m ending the story there because you can image how it ended. But my point is that we were reeeeeeally kissing and it was awesome.
3. Be considerate.
One evening Thomas and I needed a little pick me up, so we grabbed coffee. Because it was 6 pm and not 6 am we decided to share a small cup. When we pulled up to order, Thomas asked what I wanted. I indecisively told him I didn’t care. Now for weeks I had been getting a praline coffee, while he would get a cinnamon coffee. He turned out the window and ordered a praline coffee for us to share. When I asked him why he didn’t get a cinnamon he said, “Because I know you like the praline.” He was so considerate. That small act of consideration made me feel the way I did when him and I were dating. Totally nostalgic, totally keeping us in love.
One more hint and you get it because you’re reading this enitre post, which I appreciate.
Stop keeping score.
Come on people it all comes out in the wash. The other day we were driving somewhere and Thomas said, “I’m sorry that I haven’t been helping out as much as I should be. I hope you know how much I appreciate you.” I was taken back because it was so out of the blue. “Why do you say that.” Thomas proceeded to say, “Well, every morning you get the boys ready and get us out the door. I want you to know that I appreciate that.” I then told him, “Aaah, it all comes out in the wash. I figure there are times, like in the evenings when you play with the boys and keep them occupied. So we are totally even.” In a relationship, you can’t keep score. As long as you both feel like there is give and take then keep plugging along.
Keep working at your relationship and keep staying more and more in love with one another. Happy Valentine’s Day everyone! XOXOX